Marriage Annual Review: 10 Questions

Does your marriage need a check-up? The next 60 seconds can change your marriage, but you have to keep reading. 


I have had the opportunity to meet with many couples for pre-marital counseling. As we began our journey to their wedding day, I approach each one with this mindset: I'm not a travel agent - telling all the places you can go and what to do; I'm more like a tour guide - we're on the journey together.  One offer I have made to every couple is the opportunity to meet together once a year for a time of reflection and celebration.  It's always fun as we catch up and reminisce about the wedding or some other experience we all shared along the way. It's also a joy to see that they aren't too busy IN their marriage that they can stop to work ON their marriage.

"Some people are so busy IN marriage that they forget to stop and work ON their marriage." - Click to Tweet 

The $5,000,000 Lesson

Have you ever experienced the difference between being asked to do something and being told to do the same thing?

A co-worker recently asked me to complete a task and then followed up to make sure I had completed the whole process. As we concluded our conversation, it occurred to me how engaging and provoking his request was versus the "it's not what you expect, but what you inspect that gets done" model. His approach was very inviting. I appreciated this so much I decided to let him know. That's when I learned my latest "Collision" lesson.

This co-worker had a life-changing experience a few years back when he served time in prison. Without all of the gory details, the point he made was simple.  He said to me, "Dwayne, it cost me $5,000,000 to learn how to work with people correctly. The other way is what caused me to end up in a cell and I lost every asset I had. That's a lesson I need not learn twice."

How do you deal with people? Do you attract people or do they head the other way?

Who's Slowing You Down?

Living on the East Coast gets a little edgy this time of year as hurricane season is upon us. Currently, we have "Isaac" headed our way. I caught wind of her journey over the weekend watching a Hurricane Tracker Video Update on YouTube.

As I watched the video, the narrator pointed out the island of Hispaniola, which is the home of the Dominican Republic and Haiti. The significance of this island was interesting as it relates to hurricanes. On this island is a mountain range that peaks out at 8,000 to 10,000 feet. Were "Isaac" to pass through this range, the mountains would contribute to slowing it down or even breaking it up. Unfortunately, the forecast had the storm going just north of the range, rendering it obstacle-free and thus, full steam ahead.

Unplugging Your Kids

It's gearing up to be one of those crazy weeks. School is in full-force and we're about 10 days out from our first Cross-Country race. The anxiety is building. Both girls are in a strong groove right now. I think they both are ready to see how they stack up.


The week is about to get "crazy" because our church (www.firstnorth.org) will be hosting 54 missionaries this week. We will have the opportunity to love and appreciate them for the work they do around the world. It's nice to be appreciated..."People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Are you the "Idea Guy or Gal"?

 Are you an “idea person?” I am. You know, the person walking around the office using phrases like: “Have we ever…”, “What if we…”, or “I was thinking…”  Some people hate it when these people walk into the room, much less open their mouth to share one of their “ideas.”  Most of the time a new idea means spending more money or energy than what’s being distributed at the present moment.  It would be easy for the “idea guy” or “idea gal” to get discouraged.  But true “idea people” understand that for every twenty ideas, they might strike gold on one and they are OK with that.


I once read an article in Parade Magazine about Skeet Reese, a professional bass fisherman who won the Bassmaster Classic in 2009. Near the end of the article, I discovered a word picture of how I operate in the creative world.  Here is the sentence:

Do you have a story?