Someone once said the best way to get friends is to be one first. Good words.
A friend of mine, Robin Carlile, shared something with me that is worth sharing with you. It's an evaluation tool to guide you through a stern look at how you perceive the value of friendships and what you look for in a friend. She created this for a Bible study and it's too good not to pass along.
Take a few moments to assign a numerical value to each attribute of a friend below. Use a scale of one (1) to five (5). A "1" indicates that particular attribute is not real necessary for you in a friendship, and a "5" indicates that it is a must for you in a friendship. The Bible verses are for later, but you may want to consider what they say as you make your decisions.
A friend of mine, Robin Carlile, shared something with me that is worth sharing with you. It's an evaluation tool to guide you through a stern look at how you perceive the value of friendships and what you look for in a friend. She created this for a Bible study and it's too good not to pass along.
Take a few moments to assign a numerical value to each attribute of a friend below. Use a scale of one (1) to five (5). A "1" indicates that particular attribute is not real necessary for you in a friendship, and a "5" indicates that it is a must for you in a friendship. The Bible verses are for later, but you may want to consider what they say as you make your decisions.
More instructions after you finish this part.
I look for friends who...
Are loyal (Proverbs 8:24b) ____
Are forgiving (Matthew 18:21-22) ____
Will ask tough questions (Proverbs 27:17) ____
Will make sure I do what I say I will do (Matthew 18:15) ____
Will restore me when I mess up (Galatians 6:1) ____
Has a moral character (1 Corinthians 15:33) ____
I look for friends who...
Are loyal (Proverbs 8:24b) ____
Are forgiving (Matthew 18:21-22) ____
Will ask tough questions (Proverbs 27:17) ____
Will make sure I do what I say I will do (Matthew 18:15) ____
Will restore me when I mess up (Galatians 6:1) ____
Has a moral character (1 Corinthians 15:33) ____
Are committed to a Holy alliance (1 John 1:7) ____
Are sociable (Proverbs 18:1, Acts 2:46) ____
Are consistent (Proverbs 17:17) ____
Are like-minded (Acts 4:32) ____
Are honest/truthful (Proverbs 27:6; Ephesians 4:15) ____
Are generous (Acts 2:44) ____
Are loving (Leviticus 19:17-18) ____
Are kind (Ephesians 4:32) ____
Are servants (Galatians 4:13) ____
Are selfless/sacrificial (John 15:12-13) ____
Are motivated (Hebrews 10:24) ____
Are considerate (Philippians 2:3-4)
Will pray for me (James 5:16; Galatians 6:2) ____
Now, the fun part. Add up all of your numerical values and see how you fare according to the following scale.
0-39
Your friendship skills are sorely lacking. Your friendships are limited and probably shallow. You generally have some clever rational for why this is. ACTION PLAN: Take the "20 Day Challenge." Each day for the next twenty days, focus on one of the listed friendship attributes. Begin your day by reading the accompanying scripture and praying the following prayer: "Lord, show me where I lack this quality today in a very real and clear way. Lord, I allow you to develop the quality of ( ) in my life today."
40-79
In general you are very friendly but may lack deep committed relationships. People may generally characterize you as the life of the party but you burn bright and fizzle quickly because you do not have the genuine depth to sustain this energy for very long. ACTION PLAN: Look over your individual scores. Highlight those friendship attributes for which your score is 3 or less. Each day chose a “lacking” attribute and begin your day by reading the accompanying scripture and praying the following, "Lord, show me where I lack this quality today in a very real and clear way. Lord, I allow you to develop the quality of ( ) in my life today."
80-100
You are a true and reliable friend whose friendships are characterized as deep and genuine. Friendship, for you, is a two way ever widening street. You pursue close friendships and are fulfilled by supporting those who call you friend and by relying on those who you call friend. ACTION PLAN: You need to be fine tuning your skills. Ask God daily to grow you in the areas He sees fit. Daily look over your list of attributes paying attention to the scores that are somewhat lower than others and go through your day looking for those divine appointments for growth in these areas. At the end of each day make a note about how you saw the Holy Spirit at work and write a prayer of thanksgiving.
How did you do? The key is to be honest enough to acknowledge where you are and determine where you want to go. I've said it before, "If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you getting." Remember...be a friend if you want to get friends...
Are sociable (Proverbs 18:1, Acts 2:46) ____
Are consistent (Proverbs 17:17) ____
Are like-minded (Acts 4:32) ____
Are honest/truthful (Proverbs 27:6; Ephesians 4:15) ____
Are generous (Acts 2:44) ____
Are loving (Leviticus 19:17-18) ____
Are kind (Ephesians 4:32) ____
Are servants (Galatians 4:13) ____
Are selfless/sacrificial (John 15:12-13) ____
Are motivated (Hebrews 10:24) ____
Are considerate (Philippians 2:3-4)
Will pray for me (James 5:16; Galatians 6:2) ____
Now, the fun part. Add up all of your numerical values and see how you fare according to the following scale.
0-39
Your friendship skills are sorely lacking. Your friendships are limited and probably shallow. You generally have some clever rational for why this is. ACTION PLAN: Take the "20 Day Challenge." Each day for the next twenty days, focus on one of the listed friendship attributes. Begin your day by reading the accompanying scripture and praying the following prayer: "Lord, show me where I lack this quality today in a very real and clear way. Lord, I allow you to develop the quality of ( ) in my life today."
40-79
In general you are very friendly but may lack deep committed relationships. People may generally characterize you as the life of the party but you burn bright and fizzle quickly because you do not have the genuine depth to sustain this energy for very long. ACTION PLAN: Look over your individual scores. Highlight those friendship attributes for which your score is 3 or less. Each day chose a “lacking” attribute and begin your day by reading the accompanying scripture and praying the following, "Lord, show me where I lack this quality today in a very real and clear way. Lord, I allow you to develop the quality of ( ) in my life today."
80-100
You are a true and reliable friend whose friendships are characterized as deep and genuine. Friendship, for you, is a two way ever widening street. You pursue close friendships and are fulfilled by supporting those who call you friend and by relying on those who you call friend. ACTION PLAN: You need to be fine tuning your skills. Ask God daily to grow you in the areas He sees fit. Daily look over your list of attributes paying attention to the scores that are somewhat lower than others and go through your day looking for those divine appointments for growth in these areas. At the end of each day make a note about how you saw the Holy Spirit at work and write a prayer of thanksgiving.
How did you do? The key is to be honest enough to acknowledge where you are and determine where you want to go. I've said it before, "If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you getting." Remember...be a friend if you want to get friends...
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