Saturday, March 3, 2012

Are You a Dream Maker or Dream Breaker?

Back in the Garden of Eden, when God created Adam, He recognized that "it was not good for man to be alone." He knew the value of relationships and having other people in our lives.  His solution was what the Bible calls "a helper" also known as Eve. Eve's task was to help Adam fulfill the responsibilities that God had placed on essence she was to help Adam be successful.

In our world today, most everything we do involves relationships with people. People we know, people we don't; people we see everyday, people we see once and never again; people we love, and people with the capacity to be loved although we don't pursue it. There's not much that we do in our daily routines that does not involve people.

In your "world," how do you engage with those people? When they see you coming, do they walk toward you or away? Do you add value to their lives or suck the life out of them? Are you a Dream Maker or a Dream Breaker?

I landed on this "Dream" concept a few weeks ago as I spent some time with Melvin Adams who was clearly a Dream Maker. It wasn't that he had some magical power to help people fulfill their dreams. It was simply the fact that he made every attempt to help people believe in the dreams and desires on their heart.

As I considered this concept in my own life, I wondered if the people I influence consider me a Dream Maker or Dream Breaker. I know it sounds logical to think that most people may want to be Dream Makers. We want to be the wind in someone's sail. We want to be a small cog in the machine. We want to see others succeed. But that's not always the case, even when we have the best intentions.

I recently came to a alarming and disappointing revelation that my zeal to be a Dream Maker actually caused me to be a Dream Breaker. In several attempts to tweak or suggest some things to a few people, I realized all I was doing was breaking apart their confidence and creativity. I felt I was "helping," but in essence I was doing nothing more than discouraging them. All they wanted from me was, "Great Work!" but what they got was, "That's not good enough!" 

What's disheartening is that there are some Dream Breakers in my life and I know how they make me feel. It hurts to think that I am "that guy" in the lives of some people whose relationship I really value.

Don'' be "that guy!" (or girl)

Take a hard look at your relationships. Look at the people who value your input and affirmation. Listen to them and affirm their work or contribution. And sometimes, when you see something that could be changed, ask yourself if it's really necessary to say something. Your way is not the only way and just because you can suggest something doesn't mean you have to...just let it go.

Be the Dream Maker, not the Dream Breaker.

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