Dads Talk Purity

This post was the catalyst for a whole new site. You can find it at www.DadsTalkPurity.blogspot.com.

The new Sherwood film, Courageous, opened this past fall. If you've not seen it, I assure you this is not a "spoiler" post. It is however, a resource I hope many dads find helpful.

In the movie, one of the dads takes his teenage daughter out for a very nice date. The intent of this date was to talk with her about protecting her innocence and waiting for God's man for her life to engage in the intimacy of sex.  This Daddy-Daughter Date is a great concept. In fact, I shared this same experience with my oldest this past Valentine's Day.

As our big date approached, I wanted to be prepared for what I would say.  I didn't want to just wing it. Like many, I turned to the internet for assistance only to come up short handed. I did stumble across a few things that pointed me in the right direction, but nothing exhaustive. Through much prayer and many drafts, I finally crafted something I felt said what I wanted to communicate.

If you're interested, here is a bulleted list of how I structured the conversation.

Are You a Fan?

My son is on this "Joke of the Day" kick.  Earlier this week, he dropped this one on me:

"How does Justin Bieber stay cool?  He stays close to his fans!!!"

In my last post, I planted the thought that everyone is a star, you just need to find your audience.  And you can't be a star if you do not have any fans. While we may never have as many as Justin Bieber, there are people out there who are cheering for you and really want you to succeed.

At the same time we're building our "fan-base", tribe or followers, we must remember that this whole thing is a big cycle.  I once read that the best way to get friends is to be one.  I would submit that the best way to get fans is to be one. So what does it mean to be a fan?

Are You a Star?

"Everybody is a star, you just need to find your audience." 

I had this revelation not too long ago as I watched young ladies participate in a leadership recognition event.  My girls were invited to this program a few years ago and it's made a huge impact on their lives. From this event, they've had opportunities to speak and perform in public, serve in many areas of our community and meet many other girls like them...Stars.

You see, I've come to accept that everyone is a star. It's just that not everyone has found their audience. As I watched these young ladies display the qualities that make them unique, I realized that each one had their own audience. An audience is any group of people who can see your potential. As these girls performed, introduced themselves to the crowd or simply engaged with her peers, they always had someone cheering them on.

So where's your audience?

How's your TRUST?

We're working on the next component of our TRANSFORM emphasis for 2011.  It's Prayer.  As I have read material on prayer, sat in meetings on prayer and taken a hard look at my own prayer life, it's been revealing as to how much room I have to improve in this area.

One revalation I had was how little I trust God. I tend to lean more on my ability than His availability. I go to my plan first and ask Him to bless it or lead me.  He desires the opposite.  In Matthew 6, we read that if we seek first His kingdom then He will cover our needs. We just need to trust Him more and trust us less.

Today I was working on some of these components and crafted a pattern for me to follow as I talk to my Heavenly Father.

Marriage Annual Review: 10 Questions

Does your marriage need a check-up? The next 60 seconds can change your marriage, but you have to keep reading. 


I have had the opportunity to meet with many couples for pre-marital counseling. As we began our journey to their wedding day, I approach each one with this mindset: I'm not a travel agent - telling all the places you can go and what to do; I'm more like a tour guide - we're on the journey together.  One offer I have made to every couple is the opportunity to meet together once a year for a time of reflection and celebration.  It's always fun as we catch up and reminisce about the wedding or some other experience we all shared along the way. It's also a joy to see that they aren't too busy IN their marriage that they can stop to work ON their marriage.

"Some people are so busy IN marriage that they forget to stop and work ON their marriage." - Click to Tweet 

The $5,000,000 Lesson

Have you ever experienced the difference between being asked to do something and being told to do the same thing?

A co-worker recently asked me to complete a task and then followed up to make sure I had completed the whole process. As we concluded our conversation, it occurred to me how engaging and provoking his request was versus the "it's not what you expect, but what you inspect that gets done" model. His approach was very inviting. I appreciated this so much I decided to let him know. That's when I learned my latest "Collision" lesson.

This co-worker had a life-changing experience a few years back when he served time in prison. Without all of the gory details, the point he made was simple.  He said to me, "Dwayne, it cost me $5,000,000 to learn how to work with people correctly. The other way is what caused me to end up in a cell and I lost every asset I had. That's a lesson I need not learn twice."

How do you deal with people? Do you attract people or do they head the other way?

Who's Slowing You Down?

Living on the East Coast gets a little edgy this time of year as hurricane season is upon us. Currently, we have "Isaac" headed our way. I caught wind of her journey over the weekend watching a Hurricane Tracker Video Update on YouTube.

As I watched the video, the narrator pointed out the island of Hispaniola, which is the home of the Dominican Republic and Haiti. The significance of this island was interesting as it relates to hurricanes. On this island is a mountain range that peaks out at 8,000 to 10,000 feet. Were "Isaac" to pass through this range, the mountains would contribute to slowing it down or even breaking it up. Unfortunately, the forecast had the storm going just north of the range, rendering it obstacle-free and thus, full steam ahead.

Unplugging Your Kids

It's gearing up to be one of those crazy weeks. School is in full-force and we're about 10 days out from our first Cross-Country race. The anxiety is building. Both girls are in a strong groove right now. I think they both are ready to see how they stack up.


The week is about to get "crazy" because our church (www.firstnorth.org) will be hosting 54 missionaries this week. We will have the opportunity to love and appreciate them for the work they do around the world. It's nice to be appreciated..."People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Are you the "Idea Guy or Gal"?

 Are you an “idea person?” I am. You know, the person walking around the office using phrases like: “Have we ever…”, “What if we…”, or “I was thinking…”  Some people hate it when these people walk into the room, much less open their mouth to share one of their “ideas.”  Most of the time a new idea means spending more money or energy than what’s being distributed at the present moment.  It would be easy for the “idea guy” or “idea gal” to get discouraged.  But true “idea people” understand that for every twenty ideas, they might strike gold on one and they are OK with that.


I once read an article in Parade Magazine about Skeet Reese, a professional bass fisherman who won the Bassmaster Classic in 2009. Near the end of the article, I discovered a word picture of how I operate in the creative world.  Here is the sentence:

Do you have a story?