Saturday, January 21, 2012

Have You Blown the Magical Moments?

I have.

I heard a speaker say once, "The wise man learns from his mistakes. The wiser man learns from other's mistakes. But the wisest man learns from other's success." You're about to learn from my mistake, thus making you a wiser person than me.

I was out for a run yesterday, and listening to the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast on the topic of "When Work and Family Collide." Normally it's just Andy and his host bantering back and forth over specific leadership topics. This particular episode had a special guest, Joel Manby. Here is a great video (4:30) produced by Giant Impact and Jeremy Kubicek (Leadership is Dead) that will give you a snippet of Joel's story (and a great leadership conversation).

In the podcast, Joel mentioned that his wife was the catalyst to his personal "re-org". As they went away for a long weekend to work through how they would make the necessary changes to save their family and their marriage. He mentions asking, "What are the things you need from me at home?" Her response: "I want you to put the kids to bed, not send the kids to bed." Then Joel added, "Because that's where the magic happens."

I almost stopped running.

I had blown my own magical moments.

When our children were born, we subscribed to a discipline of putting them in the bed at night and walking away. It worked. All through their infant years, we never had problems getting them to sleep at night. In fact, even as they grew older, all we would say is, "It's time for bed." and off they would go. What a blessing...well, maybe not.

As I listened to Joel talk about putting his kids versus sending them to bed so that he could capture the magical moments, I realized I had missed mine. It's not that I never put my kids in the bed, but I didn't capture the moments for what they could have been.  My oldest is now 15, the next child is 13 and the third is 8. I can still capture the moments I have left, but I regret the moments I have missed.

If you have children, don't miss the magical moments. Put your kids to bed. Ask them about what really happened that day. Ask them about the funniest thing that happened that day. Ask them about what was the hardest thing to do that day. Ask them how you can pray for them. The main thing is to just be there so you can watch the magic happen.

Here's a link to check out "Leadership is Dead":

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  1. I have too. Yet, I am reminded of the moments that I have been able to experience and am thankful for them. Today, I am refocusing on creating and cultivating those moments. Relationships are the most important aspect of our lives, and we must deliberately and intentionally focus on cultivating them. Otherwise, they will not grow. And, "if you're not green and growing, you're ripe and rotting."

    1. Great analogy! I'll have to add that to my Think Pad...